It is very difficult.
I need to move forward and attempt to regain my life back again – not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children, my wife and my family and friends.
The last three years, to say they have been difficult, is a massive understatement.
Whist out walking today, I began to think about the inner peace and happiness that used to be such a big part of my life. A peace that I desire to find and embrace again.
My striving and fighting for justice has become too much. It has taken its toll in all areas of my life. The anger and fight that I directed at the Comboni Missionaries, in subtle ways is coming back and hitting me.
It was in this vein that I rang Rome today and asked to speak with Sanchez, the Superior General. I explained to the receptionist and then to a priest who i was. I was informed a couple of minutes later that Sanchez would ring me back. The Sanchez call never came. I rang again and was once again, informed that Sanchez would ring me back. The Sanchez call never came. I suspect that they were seeking advice and legal council. I rang back and was told that Sanchez was out. I asked to speak to a priest that spoke English, and the phone was put down. It was subsequently put down on all of my calls after that. It is still being put down now two hours later.
Having the phone put down on me was difficult and hard to understand. It upset me. I had built myself up to talk. An opportunity to have a dialogue and more importantly, an opportunity for progress. Progress, not only for me but also for my abuser and the Combonis. Nobody else would have been involved. It was them and me. Nobody else would have known.
The dialogue that I wanted would have certainly finished off the criminal case that WYP are still pursuing against my abuser.
I still see the need for change within the Catholic Church, and I would like to believe, that I will continue, to chip away at the church’s foundations, especially in relation to clericalism and the abuse of children.
The offer is still there.
Hello Mark The most important thing in all our lives is family. Whatever you decide, you will have the support & understanding of all who have had contact with you. Everyone who has followed this blog knows what you have been through. As one of the ‘Observer’ group I thank you for all that you have done & for what you stand for. Your posts here persuaded me to muster just enough courage to seek justice. I would not have managed that without you. Family & yourself, first & foremost, life is short. My admiration & gratitude always. Frank McGinnis
Dialogue and change are words not in this religious congregations’ vocabulary. Such is their world and indeed the world of their church. I wish it were otherwise. The business of religion and their eternity playhouses aka churches, have, since the time of the Nazarene sought to exploit and manipulate the minds and lives of others. You and others have shown immense courage. I simply cannot imagine the suffering you have endured at the hands of this religious congregation. They are continuing to read from another codex in relation to their members sexual and psychological abuse of children. The hope being that with continued silence the victims will eventually shut up and die.
The Argentinian has been superlative in his ability to change perceptions regarding the church. It is quite a brilliant performance. However until his office matches the rhetoric with actions against those prelates, religious superiors. and clergy who have been indicted for their roles in these shocking crimes then it will remain simply that- rhetoric.
Pursue those Verona Fathers who are living- don’t give up and don’t listen to suggestions that they are too aged to face accountability.
When I awoke this morning my wife told me what she had heard on last night’s news regarding the Verona Fathers at Mirfield. I was a student at the school and it was only last year that I had told my wife of the sexual abuse that I had suffered there as a child.
I had never told anyone of this abuse that happened over 30 years ago except one priest who I trusted.It was an emotional night when I told her.Lots of tears were shed.I told her I would answer her questions about my abuse that night but would then not talk about it again as I would deal with “it” the way I have always done,by myself.
This morning I have told her once again that I am not going to discuss the events or say any more.I can only continue in life dealing with this in my way.It may not be the best way but it is my way.
Pain can be shared but it is not a pain that I would burden my wife with.
Why did the Comboni Fathers not want to talk. It was disgusting behaviour what they did. Completely insensitive especially when you rang them because you wanted to sort things out in a manner of peace and goodness.
At the end of the Observer article is this paragraph:
“In a statement to the Observer, the Order, using its latest figures, said: “Considering the numbers of boys who were educated at St Peter’s, the Verona Fathers absolutely do not accept that claims from 12 individuals demonstrate a culture of abuse at the seminary. There are priests who are currently members of the Verona Fathers who were at St Peter’s in the 1960s and 1970s and who never witnessed or heard of any abuse.””
This is an obvious lie. Pinkman and Valmaggia were kicked out of the order round about that time. So is the spokesman trying to tell us that not one single Verona Father asked where they had gone or why, or even noticed that they had gone?
They all knew – every one of them!
Then there is:
“The statement concludes with the current head of the Order in the UK, Father Martin Devenish, saying: “We know that anyone subjected to abusive behaviour will experience suffering and we are dismayed to think such suffering may have been caused to youngsters who attended our junior seminary. If that is the case, we are deeply sorry to anyone who has been hurt in this way and our thoughts and prayers are with them.””
Interestingly, in another post on another subject in the same newspaper, someone wrote “An apology containing the word “if” is no apology at all.”
By including “such suffering “may” have been caused” and “if that is the case” he is not apologising – he is still denying facts