Hello Tim. I read your article titled “life is about love and letting go”

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Mark Murray
JULY 4, 2017 AT 10:28 PM
Hello Tim.

I read your article titled “life is about love and letting go”. It helped me have a better understanding of aspects of my life that I had struggled with for many years.

I was abused as a child. I have had many years of difficulty letting my children grow and then letting them “go” and accepting that they, to, need to move on and discover their own way in this world.

And i, more than anything, want them to know that when they are doing that discovery I love them no less for it. It is, however, painful. And i cry because of the sadness of losing myself each time I loose a bit of them.

And looking at onesconfusion and unhappiness is compounded when it is tied up with childhood abuse.

After dealing with my abuse i found it difficult to accept the loss of my innocence because of what was taken away from me as a child. These mixed up emotions and feelings have impacted on the “letting go” of my own children.

That has effected my ability – even though I want to – to let go of my own children. Your article helped me in fitting some aspects of my personal jigsaw together.

I remember reading somewhere that the biggest act of love that a parent can do is “to let go ” of your children and to keep on letting go.

I still have a lot of miles to walk. And I doubt that my journey will ever be finished. But that is the nature of the journey of life is it not?

Thank you for your article.

The Guardian/Obsever have done two stories on the abuse at the Comboni Missionaries ( Verona Fathers) Catholic Seminary at Mirfield. I am on of the Comboni Survivor Group.

There is a good paragraph below that I find particularly powerful.

Best wishes.

Mark ( Murray)

Wisdom is the recovery of innocence at the far end of experience”

“I start from the conviction that many of the most important things we know are things we know before we can speak them; indeed, we know them—though with very little in the way of concepts to make them intelligible to us—even as children, and see them with the greatest immediacy when we look at them with the eyes of innocence. But, as they are hard to say, and as they are often so immediate to us that we cannot stand back from them objectively, we tend to put them out of mind as we grow older, and make ourselves oblivious to them, and try to silence the voice of knowledge that speaks within our own experiences of the world. Wisdom is the recovery of innocence at the far end of experience; it is the ability to translate some of that vision into words, however inadequate. There is a point, that is to say, where reason and revelation are one and the same.” ~ David Bentley Hart.

Monsignor John Kennedy to head of the discipline section of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith

ROME – Pope Francis on Tuesday named a new official to oversee the Vatican office that processes clerical sex abuse cases amid mounting criticism over a years-long backlog of cases and Francis’s handling of the problem.

The promotion of Monsignor John Kennedy to head of the discipline section of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith was the second abuse-related appointment in recent days. Francis named Father Hans Zollner, one of the Catholic Church’s top experts on fighting abuse and protecting children, as an adviser to the Vatican’s office for clergy on Saturday.

Francis and the Vatican have come under fresh scrutiny over their response to the abuse crisis since Irish survivor Marie Collins resigned from the pope’s sex abuse advisory commission on March 1, citing “unacceptable” resistance to the commission’s proposals from the Vatican’s doctrine office.

Collins’ departure laid bare the cultural chasm between the commission’s outside experts, who proposed best-in-class ideas for protecting children, and the reality of the Vatican bureaucracy and its legal and administrative limitations.

Kennedy was an assistant to the previous discipline section chief, Father Miguel Funes Diaz, one of three congregation officials who recently left. The Vatican spokesman, Greg Burke, said Francis had approved their replacements as well as additional staff to handle cases, which by some estimates take two to three years to process.

The congregation assumed responsibility for processing abuse cases in 2001 after then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future Pope Benedict XVI, determined that dioceses weren’t disciplining pedophiles as church law required. The change required bishops and religious superiors to submit all credible accusations to the congregation, which decides how to proceed.

Cardinal Sean O’Malley, who heads Francis’s abuse advisory commission, said in a recent interview that the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith needed more resources to deal with the caseload and related issues. Francis earlier this year named O’Malley to the congregation’s membership in a first key move to place commission members inside Vatican offices to lend their expertise.

Zollner, the new addition to the clergy office’s board of advisers, is another member of the pope’s abuse advisory commission. He heads the Center for Child Protection at the Jesuits’ Pontifical Gregorian University, which runs programs to train church personnel in child safety and abuse awareness.

As an adviser to the Congregation for Clergy, he will have a hand in advising the Vatican office responsible for training the world’s Catholic priests in best practices.


by Christine Niles, M.St. (Oxon.), J.D. •

SYDNEY, Australia

(ChurchMilitant.com) – A jury has found Cdl. George Pell guilty on all counts related to sexually abusing two altar boys.

According to sources who spoke to The Daily Beast, a jury returned a unanimous verdict Tuesday against the Australian cardinal after three days of deliberation. Further details are unavailable as the court has issued a suppression order to Australian media to “prevent a real and substantial risk of prejudice to the proper administration of justice.” A previous trial resulted in a hung jury.

Pell had been accused of molesting two altar boys during a swimming trip in the 1990s, when he was bishop in Ballarat, a town northwest of Melbourne. Pell has vigorously denied the allegations, and his attorney, Robert Richter, said in 2017 that there is “voluminous” evidence to show that “what was alleged is impossible.” Pell has vigorously denied the allegations. Although multiple accusations were levelled at the cardinal initially, the court threw out most of them.
Pell was named the Vatican’s Secretariat for the Economy in 2014, making him the third highest-ranking cleric in Rome. He was brought in ostensibly to clean up Vatican finances, exercising oversight over Vatican properties and personnel.
His proposed reforms, however, which included demands for greater transparency, met with resistance. According to Vatican expert, Edward Pentin, the “Old Guard” resisted reform out of fears it would reveal their corruption.

Pope Francis restricted Pell’s powers without notice in a motu proprio he issued in 2016. And a financial audit by the firm PricewaterhouseCoopers was cut short by the Secretary of State after only four months.

One source who spoke with Pentin complained that the reforms were “dead, over, finished, they’ve been blocked.”

“The corruption continues; it’s just better concealed,” the inside source added, saying Vatican finances had returned to being as bad as they were before Pell’s reforms, and possibly worse.

Libero Milone, the Vatican’s auditor general, initially put in place to implement reforms, was fired in 2017, the Vatican accusing him of “spying” on officials. Milone, however, claims it was the other way around: The Vatican was spying on him, and he was fired because he had discovered financial irregularities that threatened Vatican officials.
One week later, Pell also left the Vatican’, granted permission by Pope Francis to stand trial in Australian court over charges of “historical sexual offenses.”

“All along I have been completely consistent and clear in my total rejection of these allegations,” Pell said at the time. “News of these charges strengthens my resolve and court proceedings now offer me an opportunity to clear my name and then return here back to Rome to work.”

Some have called out the pope for an apparent double standard: In September he had refused to allow Cdl. Luis Ladaria Ferrer, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, to stand trial for allegations of sex abuse cover-up, citing sovereign immunity.

Clergy Abuse Survivors Share Stories At Emotional First Listening Session

Clergy Abuse Survivors Share Stories At Emotional First Listening Session

November 29, 2018 at 11:42 pm

Filed Under:Bishop David Zubik, Local TV, Pam Surano, Pittsburgh Catholic Diocese, St. Paul Cathedral

Survivors and parishioners came out to St. Paul Cathedral in Oakland on Thursday night for the first of four listening sessions since the release of the Pennsylvania grand jury report on clergy sexual abuse.

Similar sessions are already being held in in the Greensburg Catholic Diocese.

But organizers in the Pittsburgh Catholic Diocese are hoping to create a safe space so everyone can work through the healing process together.

Bishop David Zubik sat at the altar listening as one-by-one the faithful stood before him to share their pain and anger over the scandal.

“I was overcome with emotion. I spoke all across the state and didn’t have this problem until tonight, but I felt a sense of community that I haven’t felt for a long time,” said Jim VanSickle, a survivor of clergy abuse.

Nancy Pieffer, another survivor who became a social worker and advocate for rape victims, spoke for the first time publicly at the session. There was not a dry eye as she recounted the horror of her abuse as a child at the hands of a priest.

“I’m sure as I hold this experience, I will just feel the depth and the breadth of people standing for me,” said Pieffer.


You and your lot are all “money grabbers”

Mark Stephen Murray@MarkStephenMur2

“At times it seems that protecting the institution is a higher goal than caring for victims” said Deacon Robert Sondag.

That’s the case with the Italian Comboni Missionary Order.

“Money grabbers” were the words shouted at me by the Comboni Vice Superior of their Mother House in Verona to describe victims and survivors.
This verbal abuse took place just after I had met my childhood abuser, Fr.Nardo – he stated he was “very very sorry” – I then forgave him.

Our Own Way Through Hell – The Person They Killed –Extracts from Boy X’s Last Letter

I suppose we all have, to a great extent, to find our own way through the hell that was forced on us by being abused and by being the captives of a system, a religion, that has always been about control. control of the mind by means of instilling fear, shame and guilt.

When it comes to Mirfield, I must admit that my thoughts and feelings are full of confusion and contradictions.

There are things I hate about Mirfield and there are things I love. I can understand why others who were fortunate enough to not be victims of the abuse, have fond memories of Roe Head. The more I remember my early days there, before the abuse started, which ruined my life, the more I know I was once in a place where I was happy. I certainly was not aware of any of the points I made earlier about theism and organised religion, so that didn’t bother me. I suppose that was a case of ‘ignorance is bliss’.

I can see the possible benefits that revisiting Mirfield might bring, perhaps the possibility of exorcising some demons. I suppose it would all depend on the intent of the visit. But there is another side to it,something that frightens me even more. I feel that if there is any place in this world that might throw me into still further confusion it would be Mirfield. I ask myself if I really want to revisit a place and time where a big part of me still is.

I know this may sound rather off the wall, but I am still drawn to the good things, the good memories. I know that this is a case of emotion defeating reason but perhaps it might have something to do with my memories of the good things being so much in contrast with the bad things, the good things representing the former me,the person I was, the person they killed. That person I was, would have grown into a better person with a different life than the disaster that my life became.

The more I remember my former self the more I long to return to 1963 when I first set foot in Roe Head. It was a wonderful time of my life and I miss it so much. Something I have said before, something that still remains with me, it’s strange how long suppressed memories from over half a century ago escape when allowed to and become just as vivid as things right now . Perhaps it’s better to try and keep them securely locked away even though that doesn’t really help deal with the problem.

The faces of friends are as clear as they were then and with that comes that realisation it’s where I have have been all along. I do understand the problem. It’s like never growing up ,never growing old, never moving on, never maturing, just transforming into the unacceptable.It’s being back in a world never really left. It has always linguered there somewhere in my mind but now can become as real as today’s reality. It all comes to life . Forever looking for something lost, something stolen,something precious and irreplaceable.

I did go through a phase just recently when I welcomed remembering more of the good things because it did seem to bring some comfort, But now, it only brings feelings of despair. Despair in knowing that it’s all gone. I don’t know what else to say. Perhaps I’m mourning my dead self, as someone suggested. So that is my dilema. I’m not sure I could face going to Roe Head only to find an empty, bare landscape. It’s the same with reunions. I don’t know that I could face meeting again those I remember from Mirfield and by doing so have to then face the stark reality that Roe Head and my friends are gone forever. It’s just all confusion but I suppose I should be thankful that I am aware of the problem regardless of how painful that is.