Sometimes I think what would have happened if Fr. Pinkman had not turned his back on me that day on that railway platform. What if he had approached me and put his arms around me and told me he was sorry. It would have meant the world to me. I would have forgiven him there and then. It would, to a great extend, have lightened that burden on my back, that devil I’ve been carrying all my life.
I really believed that Fr Pinkman cared for me, maybe I needed to believe that. Even after he had turned away from me that day.I still believed he cared. I realise now that he never cared at all.
But Fr Pinkman has gone,so has Ceresoli and Valmaggia. They can never appologise now. I always had a silly dream that they would, especially Fr. Pinkman. But of course they never did and were never likely to do that. I cried when I found out that Fr Pinkman had died, I desperately needed something from him, an admission, a sorry, an acknowledgement of wrong things done. If he had cared about me he would have done that,
They are dead and gone but the injustice continues relentlessly.
Nardo is still alive and so are the Verona Fathers and the church. They owe Mark something and the church owes us all something. When an individual does something wrong it’s on them. But the church is complicit in all that has happened and is happeneing. They are protecting the evil and that makes the church evil.
I must admit I don’t quite understand it all yet. I wonder if Fr Pinkman and Nardo and Ceresoli and Valmaggia and all others like them,including those who are protecting them, ever went to confession I don’t understand how, on the one hand confession can bring forgivness, and on the other hand, confession doesn’t seem to include a genuine expression of sorrow to the victims. An acknowledgment of guilt to those affected so cruelly. Maybe they are in denial and if so they are denying the very God they are suppose to represent. Maybe Ceresoli is not the only whited sepulchur,maybe the whole damn church is, but I hope that is not the case.
The church has something that’s priceless, something far greater than money. Something that would alleviate some of the pain and horror inflicted by them. All it would take is some genuine humility. I hope that will happen one day. But for now,it seems beyond them to do that.
Reality check sir.! Father Pinkman did not care for you or any of us that he abused because he was a psychopathic pedophile. I have had sexual abuse counselling and now know how a pedophile’s mind works.They actively seek out professions or jobs where they have ease of access to children. You are groomed to believe you are special and abused knowing what it will do to your mind. I say psychopathic because the Priest bit is a sham! They are evil low life who have no regard whatsoever for your feelings.An apology is the last thing i want from the child molesters and the people who cover up for them. The Comboni/Verona Fathers, and Catholic church. I don’t care even if they were abused because i am wired to know you never do that sort of thing to a child.
It may take a lot more than a little humility.
I spoke with Father Devenish today and he was reluctant to listen to me.
I continued to telephone him – a couple of times, maybe two or three – after he had informed me not to speak with him but to write to Father Sanchez, the Superior General.
He informed me on the phone that he would have to cut me off if i continued to ask for a message to be passed verbally to Father Sanchez.
” Write to him,” was the response. “Do not phone again”
Unfortunately, he then informed me that if i continued to phone he would contact ‘his solicitors’ as what i was doing was harassment.
The sexual abuse of children is rarely if ever an ‘one off aberration’.The Verona Fathers must provide an chronolgy of their priests who have or who are believed to have sexually abused children in the British Isles. Locations, dates, duties and so on.
I contend that the Verona Fathers mentioned as abusers have a long history of relcoation within and without their Province. We need to determine the circumstances of their removal from one house to another house and whether there were allegations regarding their conduct in these new locations.
There is no such thing as “historical sexual abuse” it is a dangerous misnoner. The suffering of the victims is not ‘historical’ it is painfully real to them each and every day. For religious congregations to have us believe that it was all such a long time ago and that we need to ‘move on’ is insulting to the victims, many of whom have lived their lives on the margins of society as ‘survivors’
If the Verona Fathers are serious about the process of ‘healing’ then they must demonstrate this intent with actions.The first of which is a providing a record of their members activities..
What can I say. I appreciate the comments. But I can only speak from the place I am in right now in all this.I am in a different place than I was and no doubt will be in a different place again in time to come. There is certainly a lot I don’t understand or see. I spent all my life forcing myself to not think about what happened to me.I couldn’t cope with it.. It’s less than three months since I decided it was time for me to talk about things.It was something I needed to do. But I’m certainly not in the same place as others,I understand that.I’m still confused,very confused. Is there any point in saying to me ‘Fr Pinkman didn’t care for you’. I know that now and that’s a place I’ve got to myself. Maybe I’m being too sensitive but I do still feel on my own, Apart from Mark who has helped me a lot.
“But Fr Pinkman has gone,so has Ceresoli and Valmaggia.”
As far as I can find out, Ceresoli is, at 83 years old, still alive. He retired as Bishop of Awasa in Ethiopia five years ago, but I cannot find any reference to him being other than still alive. He has Wikipedia page on the German site, which lists him as still alive.