To all who have written on the blog

Thanks to all the people that have contributed to the Verona Father’s blog over the last couple of years. I know that it has helped many people.

When Kevin, Tony and I started the Verona Father’s Blog, we had no idea in which direction it would go and who would be interested in it. More importantly, we questioned who would want to contribute to it.

Writing about sexual abuse and neglect cannot be easy, and writing about abuse that happened to the person who is writing, is more than hard. It can leave yourself open and exposed, and psychologically back in the vulnerable situation where the abuse happened.

Dealing with that situation can take a long time. It can take a life time; it can take more than a life time, and then self harm, for many, is a big escape option.

In that aspect, the Verona Father’s blog has helped. Knowing that others were abused; knowing that it was not just you; knowing that you could talk about your Mirfield life, and then being able to write about it to friends and companions is a massive positive experience.

Everyone that has written about their Mirfield experiences on the blog, has shown overwhelming support, encouragement and a deep sense of solidarity and love to the adults that, as children, were abused at Mirfield.

The subscription on the blog runs out next month. Therefore if you want to write your Mirfield thoughts, memories, future hopes and aspirations now is the time to do it.
Or maybe there is someone else wanting to taking the Verona Father’s blog on!!
Best wishes to all.

Mark

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3 responses to “To all who have written on the blog

  1. Mark;
    I just read your post / message in which you outline the start of the blog and the catharsis that it provided to you and many others that suffered abuse during their time at Mirfield and beyond. I am happy for you and for anyone that received succor from the blog. However; I am sad to learn that the subscription to the blog expires next month, and you indicate that you wish someone else to take the reins.

    I do not think it is a great idea for someone else to take over what Kevin, Tony and you started. The loss of continuity will end in a death spiral. You three have been there since the beginning and have developed a rapport and community not only with other seminarians but especially with those that suffered during their time at Mirfield. You encouraged those that experienced deep psychological trauma and physical abuse to come out of the dark and share their experiences that I am certain; nay I know helped them immensely. You have intimate experience of the highly traumatising events that occurred to many at Mirfield. Many have shared their trauma with you not only on the blog but also in private. They have trusted in you! May I opine without being offensive that you are not unlike a psychologist whose patient(s) have suffered the same type of abuse. The psychologist just can’t walk away. He or she has a duty of care. Otherwise, the patient will feel abandoned. Yes, I am certain that the blog has become tiring. And, yes, people who have suffered psychologically devastating trauma have to move on and not become dependent on their psychologist (s.i.c.). However, I believe that is a process of weaning them of counselling or transitioning them to other counsellors or other forms of treatment. Therefore, I think it is unwise to suddenly bring the blog to an end, or to hand off the blog to some other person that may not have the experience or knowledge that you have may be devastating or harmful. Perhaps, unfortunately, for you but, fortunately, for others (and I think for yourselves) you picked up the baton and you ran with it. I do not think it is time to hand over the baton yet and possibly there is no one ready to receive it yet.

    Personally, I would like you to continue the blog at least for a while. If it is a question of the cost of the blog, I am willing to contribute as I am sure others will. Perhaps the blog should progress to happier events at Mirfield while not abandoning those that suffered. I think that this will help make the blog more inclusive as perhaps some may feel that the blog was only about the abuse.

    I am an ideas person. I invent; I have ideas for developing or fusing existing technologies and services, and I develop improvements for existing products or services. However, although I have done screenwriting and scriptwriting I do not like writing. I prefer to verbalise. In other words open my big mouth and get myself into trouble. Otherwise, you could tempt me to contribute more to the blog. So, in closing, I urge you to seek the opinion of many others and especially reconsider abandoning your bonus factum.

  2. I was a local primary school teacher and I taught evening French classes at Roe Head for about a year or so around 1968. Foolishly I thought teaching young seminarians would be a doddle! It was a tough assignment and I’m not sure who learnt what! I was paid weekly; always in Scottish pound notes!
    I had no idea what was going on and reading the blog has astonished and horrified me. It has been so revealing to read all the memories and I can only admire those of you who have had the courage to verbalise your experiences. I hope in some little way, it has helped to heal the scars.

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